I am frequently amazed at how long it takes for me to turn to God. If you note the time between recent posts, it’s been months… literally. I have been in a desert place, (or is it a dessert place)? Could be. I have been feeling fat, undesirable, unattractive, and honestly, unhappy. I could blame it on the weather, dreary drizzle here in Portland; the place, I’d rather be in Northern Michigan for the snow and companionship of old friends, my diet–one too many cheese sandwiches…. but, really… really, it’s feeling turned away from God.
This is not in some intentional decision based way. It’s not exactly laziness. It’s something else. A vacation away from God. As if. God waits patiently. Always here, living me. Loving me.
But, often, it takes me while to warm up to God. To think, “There is a solution”.
Slowly, I have been thawing out of this frozen state of consciousness. And I’d like to share a simple, goofy, story that occurred a few days ago as an illustration of this. Sometime in the night, I had taken off my wedding rings. I remember putting them both on the broad table beside the bed. The next morning, there was the wedding ring, but not the diamond engagement ring. Huh. I looked all over, checked the floor, under the dresser scarf,.. no sign of it. Not a big worrier, I went ahead with my day. Later that evening,… still no ring. Next morning, and one or two morns after, again, no sign of it.
Well, I had just gotten back into reading Mary Baker Eddy’s book, Prose Works. Just a dabble of inspiration for my cloudy thoughts. And walking into my bedroom, a bit later, I thought (like a lightening bolt) as I turned to sit on the edge of my bed, and look once again for this ring of mine, ‘God knows’ (where it is)… and ha! As I turned my butt to sit, THERE IS WAS SHINING AT ME UP FROM THE BED. The same place and side I’d slept for several nights without feeling it. It was comically laughing at me. Right there, twinkling. One way or the other, it was restored to me. Logical explanations aside, it was important to me.
I did one of those, V-8 Juice, head slaps. You know, “I could have had a V-8!”……….. I could have had God. This is an expression that I have shared with clients. Thinking, asking myself, this time, ‘How LONG did it take this time to turn Godward?’ You get it, right? We go along in our cloudy stew of issues, problems. Happy enough, sad enough. But finally the little stirring inside awakes and we remember God’s power, love, and authority over our lives. In all ways.
So, ask yourself, as you turn toward God: “How long did it take THIS time?”
‘The earth is the Lord’s and the fulness thereof’ Psalm 24:1
Copyright held by Alexis Wittman